Two years ago, almost at this very moment, my entire life changed forever.
I would've never thought, sitting on the couch in the gold room, sobbing wildly, watching my heart break in his hands... that today October 1, 2008, I would be sitting at work, counting the moments until I get to drive home to the man of my dreams.
You know how people say, "God works in mysterious ways" when things happen that they don't understand or don't necessarily like? I remember people saying that to me in the aftermath of heartbreak... Two years ago I asked myself why His 'mysterious ways' hurt so much. I didn't understand how He could put me in a situation like that. That He would allow me to be hurt in such a deep way. Then I realized over the months that passed, it wasn't His decision to hurt me; it was the consequence of my own bad choices. I remember crying onto Mom's shoulder, drenching her shirt with my tears and wondering how I'd ever make it through. Today, I can honestly say, I'm so thankful that He gave me an out and allowed my heart to break.
I would've never thought, sitting on the couch in the gold room, sobbing wildly, watching my heart break in his hands... that today October 1, 2008, I would be sitting at work, counting the moments until I get to drive home to the man of my dreams.
You know how people say, "God works in mysterious ways" when things happen that they don't understand or don't necessarily like? I remember people saying that to me in the aftermath of heartbreak... Two years ago I asked myself why His 'mysterious ways' hurt so much. I didn't understand how He could put me in a situation like that. That He would allow me to be hurt in such a deep way. Then I realized over the months that passed, it wasn't His decision to hurt me; it was the consequence of my own bad choices. I remember crying onto Mom's shoulder, drenching her shirt with my tears and wondering how I'd ever make it through. Today, I can honestly say, I'm so thankful that He gave me an out and allowed my heart to break.
If I was God, I would've left me in the pit I was in on September 30th. But, thankfully, He didn't do that. He restored the heart that I never thought would heal. He didn't give me back the unloving relationship I thought I wanted, but rather He gave me more than I ever deserved. He gave me a man that fills my life with such joy and truly is a reflection of God's love for me.
In these past two years my confidence in myself and my relationship with God have grown in ways I never could have imagined. I truly believe it's only because of God's infinite grace and wisdom that He brought me from the mousy, ashamed, 'playing church' version of Bethany to who He's molding me into today. I'm not perfect by any means, but He's getting me there.
So I just want to praise God for this day... For what this day is: a constant reminder of His unwavering, powerful, passionate, and mysterious love for me.
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