Hello, again.

Hello, again. Just a little contemplation for the day... about prayer. And I'm going to be real with you.

I've always had a hard time praying.

I know you're supposed to talk to God like a friend. I know that He hears me when I pray. I know that He desires a relationship with me. I know all that... but do I believe it?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel God's presence so real and powerful in my life, it's undeniable. Other times, I feel like I do right now. Like God is a million miles away and just watching me go through my every day motions. Like my prayers don't go beyond the confines of my thoughts.

I desire to have a closer relationship with God because I know that's the only way I'm going to find His will and be able to walk in it. I know it's the only way I'm going to be a better wife and mother. I know it's the only way. 

So, for today....

Dear Lord, You know the desires of my heart. You know that I'm not perfect, nor do I claim to be, but God, I want You to refine me and help me to better understand Your heart and Your purposes. Father, please guide me and lead me to where You would have me go. Please develop in me a spirit of love and patience, not one of judgment or hypocrisy. I want to be a light in the darkness. I want to break the silence between us. I want to feel You working in my life as powerfully as You once did. And I know you can do this, because it says in Your Word that You can. And, so I ask, in accordance with Your Word that You would show Yourself in my life and my family's lives. That You would help me during this next month grow in a deeper understanding of You, who You are, and what that means in my life.

I ask all these things in Your name. Amen.