It's been forever since I've written in here. I can't believe how quickly a month went by, let alone how quickly things changed in that month.
You know, I look at my life... I see where I messed up, I see things I would've done differently, I see the areas where bad things happened. But then you know what else I see?... In those bad times, the times I never thought I would get through, I see God's hand working in my life even when I wasn't aware.
So many times I felt like I messed things up beyond repair, that I had ruined His plan for me, but then He comes and surprises me with things I don't deserve at all. I suppose that's the beauty behind grace. Despite the fact I submitted so many times to my own wishes instead of His desires for me, He sees fit to continuously love me and bless me anyways.
That kind of love boggles my mind. You see, if I'm really honest with myself I know that's something that I need to continue to work on. If I've been forgiven so freely and without any pretense, who am I to judge? Who am I to do anything except love and thank Him for what He's done and is doing?
For the first time in a long time I feel completely under His will and I love the peace that I feel. I don't have to worry about anything because I can honestly say that I've given it all over. No Bethany meddling is required for His plans for me.
And I'm so happy.
You know, I look at my life... I see where I messed up, I see things I would've done differently, I see the areas where bad things happened. But then you know what else I see?... In those bad times, the times I never thought I would get through, I see God's hand working in my life even when I wasn't aware.
So many times I felt like I messed things up beyond repair, that I had ruined His plan for me, but then He comes and surprises me with things I don't deserve at all. I suppose that's the beauty behind grace. Despite the fact I submitted so many times to my own wishes instead of His desires for me, He sees fit to continuously love me and bless me anyways.
That kind of love boggles my mind. You see, if I'm really honest with myself I know that's something that I need to continue to work on. If I've been forgiven so freely and without any pretense, who am I to judge? Who am I to do anything except love and thank Him for what He's done and is doing?
For the first time in a long time I feel completely under His will and I love the peace that I feel. I don't have to worry about anything because I can honestly say that I've given it all over. No Bethany meddling is required for His plans for me.
And I'm so happy.
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