Hello, February

Cause and effect. Choice and consequence. For every action, there is a reaction.

Recently, I've been questioning myself about the results of my actions. Every lie, every harmful word, every time I chose to forget what I've learned. Every decision I thought didn't affect or harm anyone but myself. In thinking about these things, I realize that every decision, even the small ones I've made, has changed my life and has changed others' lives in unimaginable ways. Some people say that our lives are controlled by destiny, that we don't have any say. And while I do believe my steps are ordered by God, I can't believe that I don't have any say in the outcome of my life.

Every single decision, no matter how minuet, affects someone else other than yourself. Sometimes decisions cause hurt, elation, indifference, but any way you think about it you're influencing someone. From the person who sees you in the background and secretly idolizes you, to the person who knows you best.. You may not be able to see it at first, in a month, maybe not even in ten years; but one day you're going to look back and see how it all connects. Even now I see instances, choices I've made, and looking back I can't help but wonder. Would my current situation be easier had I made a difficult decision then, in the past... instead of taking the convenient way out?

I don't blame myself, but it's hard to think about the "maybe's" and the "what-if's." And even as much as they suck, I know they're forcing me to become a better person. As hard as it is to look back, I realize it's necessary because as hard as it is... It's extremely cathartic. I've made a promise to myself that my mistakes are a one-time-only deal. And right now, I promise that I won't ever again be ignorant to the lives I impact around me.

That's why I'm taking a stand. I cannot to be silent any longer. Because if one bad decision can change the course of someone's life... Doesn't a good decision have just as much or more power? I refuse watch from the sidelines and hope things will turn out alright. I'm taking an active role in my life and in the lives of those around me because I think enough people, myself included, have let things slide for too long. So I'm going to jump in... And live with purpose.

Because I know things are bigger than just you and I.

"If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive... from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made... for just such a time as this."
-Esther 4:14-