I don't know what to say...
What do you do when something that has been a constant presense in your life is ripped out from underneath you? What do you say when there aren't any words? I desperately want to talk to him, but I know he needs time, and so do I. It's just hard to imagine that mere days ago, he was kissing me and saying he loves me. If he's that good of an actor, then I'm glad this happened now... I'm just not convinced.
I hope against hope that this will work itself out, but if he lied to me like he implied, then it's almost like I never knew him at all. The man I thought I loved wasn't real.
But he was. I know he loved me.
It's just so so hard to function knowing he's not there. He was my breath, my sunshine. And he knows me better than anyone. Why?... Why would he hurt me like this? I've never felt pain this intense in my entire life. I know he's under stress, but I want to be there to support him as always and more than anything I want to work things out.
I suppose the worst part is I can't move on. I don't want to move on. I just wish I knew if he felt the same. The man that did that to me yesterday is not the man that I love. I know he's still there and I know he still loves me. I'm so conflicted.
The bad side of me wishes that he is hurting just as much as I am. Because I didn't deserve this. But the other side wants him to just tell me that this was a dream.
If you're reading this, I hope you realize. I want you back, but I don't if you can so easily disgard me and my heart. I thought you were more of a man. I thought you were different. I still think you are, but I think you're lying to yourself and to me, and best friends don't do that.
...*sigh*
What do you do when something that has been a constant presense in your life is ripped out from underneath you? What do you say when there aren't any words? I desperately want to talk to him, but I know he needs time, and so do I. It's just hard to imagine that mere days ago, he was kissing me and saying he loves me. If he's that good of an actor, then I'm glad this happened now... I'm just not convinced.
I hope against hope that this will work itself out, but if he lied to me like he implied, then it's almost like I never knew him at all. The man I thought I loved wasn't real.
But he was. I know he loved me.
It's just so so hard to function knowing he's not there. He was my breath, my sunshine. And he knows me better than anyone. Why?... Why would he hurt me like this? I've never felt pain this intense in my entire life. I know he's under stress, but I want to be there to support him as always and more than anything I want to work things out.
I suppose the worst part is I can't move on. I don't want to move on. I just wish I knew if he felt the same. The man that did that to me yesterday is not the man that I love. I know he's still there and I know he still loves me. I'm so conflicted.
The bad side of me wishes that he is hurting just as much as I am. Because I didn't deserve this. But the other side wants him to just tell me that this was a dream.
If you're reading this, I hope you realize. I want you back, but I don't if you can so easily disgard me and my heart. I thought you were more of a man. I thought you were different. I still think you are, but I think you're lying to yourself and to me, and best friends don't do that.
...*sigh*
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