Continuing on...
I decided to get the epidural. I was informed that once I had gotten said epidural I would be confined to my bed... which really was okay with me because by this point I was unbelievably exhausted. Mom held my hand and we waited, and I rocked in a rocking chair and we waited, and finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the man who shall henceforth be known as the "faux anesthesiologist" (the FA) came in. He explained the procedure to me and set up his equipment. The nurse had me sit up on the edge of the bed and put my feet on mom's knees and rest my elbows on a pillow in my lap. I stayed perfectly still as the FA proceeded to jab my spine... only to feel like my left leg was falling asleep. Awesome. Not only did I have a 6 inch needle in my back, but now I couldn't feel my leg.
Something was wrong. Mom's face tensed up, as did the nurse's. I didn't really notice anything other than that because I was terrified that I would make one wrong move and end up paralyzed so I stayed as still as I possibly could while the real anesthesiologist proceeded to correctly put in the epidural.
After the epidural, they decided that they would help things along by giving me Pitocin. I didn't care because I couldn't feel anything anyways so with epidural and Pitocin drip in place, I tried to nod off. At this point I hadn't slept in almost 24 hours and I was so ready for a nap. I got as comfortable as a huge pregnant woman, swollen 5 times her size, could and flashed between dreams and sleep and Gone with the Wind (still on...) and mom and Ben and nurses and monitors. Until finally, they woke me up.
"Bethany... You're fully dilated. 10 centimeters. It's time to push."
In my mind this was, perhaps the most pivotal moment of the past 14 hours. There was no stopping it, no turning back. I couldn't help but think of how intricately God designed my body to do exactly what it was about to do, but at the same time I was scared. So many things could go wrong. I looked in the faces of mom, Jessica, and Ben. They were all so reassuring, when I myself was unsure. I had regained some feeling and could feel the urge to push. It was time to meet our baby.
