A little insight, perhaps.

Here's one thing I have recently learned... And wish I would've learned about four years ago. Relationships should never be based on an 'if' mentality, they should always be based on 'because'-s.

Allow me to explain. What I mean is you should never have to say, "This will work if he shows me more affection." "He is THE one if he could just learn to make some more sacrifices." "He'd be perfect if he'd learn to act like he likes my family." "This will be great if I could just lose some weight so he'll think I'm beautiful." "He will love me forever if I can actually put up with him for that long..."

Instead of this obviously faulty logic, relationships should be based on a 'because.' "This is awesome because I like how affectionate he is." "He's definitely amazing because he IS willing to make sacrifices and I know that he cares about me." "It's even better because my family loves him." "He makes me happy because he sees my flaws and still thinks I'm beautiful." "I could love him forever because forever doesn't seem long enough."

That's what every girl should shoot for and I hope that you certainly never settle for anything less. Nobody really wants to have an 'if' kind of love, so don't let yourself.

Love BECAUSE.

It's so easy to find someone decent that could actually make you happy if they are willing to change. Behaviors can change temporarily, but at the heart, people don't and, normally won't, change. So don't settle for someone who doesn't bring out the best in you, who doesn't make you smile just from being around you. Don't settle for anything less than your deepest, most yearning desires.

Because that's what God made you for and that's what you unequivocally deserve.

I know I've made it home

I just got finished looking back at my posts from last year and I'm floored by how quickly the time has passed. This time last year I was in the throes of heartbreak, this year I am engaged to the man of my dreams.

This may seem completely contradictory, should you go back and read my posts up until June or July because all I wanted was what I wanted when I wanted it... But I'll tell you what. I'm so glad God didn't listen. I see now just how much I would've been settling and I don't ever want to settle for less than His best for me again.

As I look down from typing at my absolutely gorgeous ring, I can't help by be astounded at how much not only my fiance loves me, but how much God loves me for giving him to me. It's not always going to be easy, but we're going to do great things with His help. And I thank God for the opportunities He's granted me. The best is yet to come and it's all amazing.

Simply amazing.

No se

I am so scared.

What's wrong with me?
Why can't I just be happy
and accept things and get over them?
I know I love him
And I wish I wasn't so over analytical
or too critical
but I can't help to wonder...

Am I just another?

One of my new favorite Christmas Songs

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say
To let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me
in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time that You opened Your eyes
Did You realize that You would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever?

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life
Pray for you to save my life.
-Relient K-